i..GROW&GROW

AS I WAS GROWING UP

BASED ON A TRUE STORY

As I was growing up, I wanted

to be beautiful

to be myself

to have beautiful hair like 

the girls who ridiculed me

to model

to be taller so I could model

to love myself

        to be popular

to have popular friends

to wear make up

to be a dancer

to perform in plays

to attend Parkview to dance

to have bigger breasts

to attract guys

        to tweeze my eyebrows

to make the guy I love, love me too

to be pursued like the women in romance novels

to kiss the guy that pursues me 

to have a best friend 

to share all my secrets with my best friend

to embellish story about first kiss to best friend

to stop the tears that I cried every night 

to stop writing about my own death

to relive the unwanted memories of what happened

in the dark for the last time 

to tell someone what happened to me when I was ten

to stop the fantasies that plagued me 

to peek through the window as they slapped the handcuffs 

around his wrists 

to take a glimpse as he burned in Hell

i..am learning how to get to & share the fundamentals

I have always shown skills and desires for the arts. Now as a student at a school that shows emphasis for its STEM majors (Science Technology Engineering & Math) I thirst for a creative opportunity in my classes. That thirst has yet to be quenched by any of my professors. So i struggle to keep a balance between my academic work and teaching myself.
I have in this time began to cultivate my talent in makeup. My favorite thing has always been to highlight the eyes. And so my first make up tip will be a basic one.

THE  F U N D A M E N T A L S

DETERMINE YOUR EYESHAPE

Tyra calls has a list of tips she calls the Shadow/Shape Secret. On her website she gives specific eyeshadow tips for each eyeshape. According to Tyra Banks...

• Round Eyes:Your eyes are already big, flirty and noticeable. Use a liquid, iridescent eye shadow to highlight your natural features. 


• Oval Eyes: Should use pearly creme eyeshadow to reflect light. This makes your eyes appear larger.
• Almond eyes: She suggests powder eyeshadow on the upper outer corner of the eye to make the eye appear more round/large. (FYi: Almond Eyes are the most common eye shape there is)

But...Before you can use Tyra's Shape/Shadow Secret you must know your eyeshape...

Here are few diagrams to help you find your eyes..

Instructions/Helpful Tips.

1.Sit in front of mirror w/good lighting.

2.Focus on the space between the inside corners of each eye.You have close set eyes if this space is shorter than the width of one eye. Ofcourse this means that if the space is wider you have wide set eyes. Some women have about an equal distance and do not need to make any adjustments based on this.

3.Become comfy with the sections of your eyelids.

4.Close one eye and feel the bone located about halfway between lashline, section of eye that runs along lashline & browline, the section that runs along your eyebrow. This bone is called your brow bone & the dip underneath it is called your crease.

5.Open yours. Take notice of the visible eyelid between lashline & brow bone.You have hooded lids if you can't see any of your lid.You have deep-set eyes if you can see some of your eye lid in the outer corners of your eyes, but this section of eye lid narrows as it gets closer to the inside corners of your eyes. You have standard eyes if there is an even amount of eyelid exposed along your entire eye.

6. Combine what you have learned to determine your eye shape. You can have one characteristic or two, such as wide-set hooded eyes or just wide-set eyes. You may also have standard eyes

i..as a child wrote too..and i hope i grew

As a class assignment when I was in the seventh grade my English teacher pulled out newspapers. She instructed us to pick a section read the articles and write a response based on the piece. I read and read and read some more. Everything seemed to be talking some war or another. And I wasn't sure which had to do with U.S., the U.N., Afghanistan, or Iraq....well you catch my drift.
The headline that stood out to me the most touched me in a place that made me want to imagine from the victims POV:

African Girls Serve As Prostitutes For U.N/U.S. Soldiers

So I wrote from the POV of one of the African girls. Of course it is totally fictional. Keep in mind this was originally written during my seventh grade year.

F R E E D O M

Freedom

Freedom

Oh the sweet sound

That word gave

Freedom from scrounging and 

Begging

Freedom from the tears

That burn in the mildewed 

state of the night

When I am alone.

Freedom from giving myself to

any bidder.

Of course, I knew it was wrong.

When I first looked upon

The cruel sun tanned faces.

Oh, I knew it was wrong but 

Don’t get confused

I knew it was wrong when I gave it to my own.

He called for me…

He continuously asked for

This young African girl

Unsure of herself, her world, her purpose in life.

He called for me,

Loudly whispering my name 

Begging for me to be near him.

In the darkness of the night 

He would touch me.

In the quiet of an abandoned building

He kissed me.

And then

When he had his share…

He sent others

Fellow camo wearing brothers

Freedom

Freedom

The sweet sound,

The bitter taste,

 The licorice dream.